Commitment

Is at the heart of all striving and change and achievement

Sometimes, often, one’s commitment makes motivation irrelevant.

When I come across essays written in the past I see a different man, and a different writer. I wasn’t as good at the writing then but that’s to be expected, and I was also a harsher observer and critic when it came to human nature. Some part of me thought I had it figured out, at least in the context of my work at the time, and wondered why others couldn’t see what was so damned obvious to me ... or something. And while I stand by the main thesis of this short piece — that commitment is at the heart of all striving and change and achievement — these days I am more forgiving of those who lack it.

Mine has been stretched thin on the rack of time, perhaps circumstances prevented theirs from thickening enough to support their spines, to straighten them. I also realize that some are not naturally self-motivated, they’re followers, and the desire to change is not always paired with the willingness to learn how, to tend the spark into actual fire. “I just want to be told what to do” was the most sickening thing one could admit to me at the time. I would give blood teaching someone to be autonomous but wanted nothing to do with the person who couldn’t bother to do the thing themselves.

All of these little conflicts did help me understand the difference between going “up” to, and coming “down” to something, and how that difference affects the life force motivating whatever action is being taken.

* There’s a chance this thesis spills out of its container to apply elsewhere but the original context is the gym, physical training, the practice of becoming, and the practice of undoing.

I define going “up” towards a goal as taking action to become someone more knowledgeable and capable, an aspiration to something greater, and (in my view) addressed in a measured, patient way by someone who understands that, if it could be done easily and quickly then it would already have been. The energy of positive change is powerful, perhaps even self-perpetuating.

Coming or going “down” towards an objective is taking action to undo the result of prior, indiscriminate behavior; runaway appetites fanned and fed until the bad habits raged out of control. When finally confronted, the actions taken to change the outcome are often rushed, as if the protagonist was suddenly embarrassed to find himself in a particular condition. And it’s a harder fight because, if one is honest about why action is needed, even positive progress comes with self-recrimination, a review of all that led to that need.

When I realized that progress can come with admonition it helped me understand why some can’t make a commitment to change, and why, when left on their own, without guidance, they might not do anything at all.

/

I walked into the gym where I’m working the other day. I was with the owner and we were ten minutes late getting back from lunch. A client was there twiddling his thumbs. The gym was empty. Every machine was available for his use. He was dressed in his training costume, hands protected by padded gloves. And there he stood.

I marveled that he was dedicated enough to show up but not willing to even fire up the treadmill while he was waiting. The big, green Quick Start button can’t be missed so a lack of knowledge wasn’t the cause of his idleness. Surely, he has the coordination and resilience to do some Squats or Lunges — he had to walk down a flight of stairs to get into the gym and up them to leave. Clearly he can locomote. The lowly Push-up is a fine exercise to do while waiting for something more interesting to happen. And there he stood.

He had enough interest to get to the place but not enough to do something once he arrived. That never would have happened in my old gym.

I’ve had some enlightening conversations lately about training and eating. The common thread in many of them has been that of excuse. Everyone is eager to share why they don’t exercise. One gal assured me that she trains hard and when I told her it doesn’t show she countered by saying, “I like to drink on the weekend.” I shook her hand. She knows who she is and what she does. Another woman asked me for a secret, a gem that would help her, specifically. Oh, you’d like me to cut straight to the heart of it? “Umm, not really. Not with that look on your face.”

It reminded me of a bike racer friend whose goal is constant improvement. He’d made the pilgrimage to a wind tunnel in North Carolina. We discussed the journey, shipping the bikes, getting out there, the hotel living, and all of the testing he did. I was hearing him on a macro level, recognizing what the trip and study meant. Another guy asked for the secret, the gem, “What was the main takeaway from your testing? What is the most important thing?”

I wanted to scream, “Don’t you get it buddy? The most important thing is being willing to invest the time and money to go to the tunnel and do the test in the first place. The rest is ... details, just stuff. Without the will to make the journey and take the test in the first place, knowing those details doesn’t matter. They have no value without the underlying desire and commitment to exploit them.”

My friend answered but I missed it. I recognized what a waste of time the reply was anyway. Even if he divulged the absolute most critical detail the guy asking the question wouldn’t do anything with it because he lacks the prerequisite to use it: commitment.

That’s what I saw in the idle man at the gym: no commitment. For him, the reason not to was greater than the reason to do something. Well, let me tell you, pal, no one’s going to do it for you.