Evolve, Adapt, Grow

Let go when it is time to do so

This is the eighth essay in POISON, written originally circa 2012. Some days it reads like a Note to Self, other days an admonition or sermon (a speech on conduct or duty), and now, today, as a reference point to clarify whether I am on my path or not. The above image was shot just off I-70 at the Floy exit during a drive north from Moab where I had recorded a podcast with Payson McElveen. Captured with a Leica Monochrom 246 and a Noctilux 50mm (on loan from Jason Momoa), close to wide open at f1.2 and ISO 400.

At some point during my climbing career I wrote a note to myself that read:

"Don't be a fool who builds a monument to his achievements and turns to stone along with it."

I wrote it as a reminder to guard against stagnation and a man's tendency to believe he had arrived, or achieved and could relax into complacency. The idea kept me evolving as a climber. I constantly assessed myself and my capabilities and I tried to match them to ever more difficult challenges. Some were technically harder, others required greater psychological engagement, some were merely isolated and distant with no possibility of help should something go wrong.

A few years later, after having retired from hard climbing I revisited the statement while I was searching for my future. I had come from climbing and climbing made me who I'd become. But I wasn't a climber any longer. I had to look ahead. I was different and the world was different. To my original thought I added the following:

"Evolve. Adapt. Grow up."

More recently I undertook an exercise that eventually led to the creation of the subscription-based site, where content was hosted behind a paywall. During that process I wrote out a list of characteristics and ideas I considered important, and the foundation of the philosophy supporting various business projects, which is inextricably linked to my own. The gym and publishing projects came into existence by having adhered to that original reminder.

Be willing to move on from a particular identifying idea or activity or period in your life. When it is time to do so, let it go instead of inhabiting it. Do not become it, or die chained to it.

The first goal need not be the final one

Use physical activity to diagnose and learn oneself

Use physical activity as meditation - become what you are doing

Use physical activity as a developmental tool

Learn the truth of one way and extrapolate to all ways, to self

Do something all the way or don't do it at all

Understand the shallowness of dilettantism

Understand the shallowness of amateurism

Also understand the necessity of each

Bite off more than you can chew — deal with indigestion or the tiger on the end of the tail if it becomes an issue

Maybe it won't

Grow

Change

Cause change

Try new things

Don't lose track of the past or the path that led here

Let the past influence the future

Do not dwell in that past

Don't get stuck on a particular rung of the ladder

Try on many shoes

Reject stagnation

Understand the danger of repetition

Understand the value of repetition

Constantly shift focus from big picture to small detail

Back and forth, back and forth, wide angle, zoom

Constantly shift focus from master to student and back in an instant

Be dogmatic when it works

Be open and bending when that works

Hard works, soft also works, each appropriate to a moment

Expect more from yourself

Do not settle for good enough unless the task does not truly matter

Obsession is how one gets things done

Body teaches mind and vice-versa

Learn with the body

Learn with the mind

Allow both to grow

Drive both to improve, each according to the objective

Do not coast

I will never arrive

I will never "know"

I will only know how little I know

If and when I know more than others I will wear it on my sleeve, as a badge, as my standard. I will be ego-driven where appropriate and sometimes where it's not. I will be ego-less where it is appropriate, and necessary. I will try not to get in my own way. I will use my talent instead of wasting it.

I won't make excuses when I fall short.

Instead I will make corrections.