Spending yourself utterly in whatever type of effort does push you through the door that leaves behind those who cannot or will not make the effort. And when you have done so and meet someone else who has done so, you often don’t need to talk about it. It is recognized by both that what you went through separates you forever from those who have not.
Those experiences mark us in ways we don’t necessarily understand … until we come across someone similarly marked, and then, you are right, no words need be spoken, and yet deep communication will occur. Your comment reminded me of an old essay about the thousand yard stare and now I need to find it to see if I am recalling things correctly.
Or the times that were near misses. In 1992 I was invited on an Alaska trip. Wanted to go so badly but I had torn my ACL for the third time. Tried to rehab but it was too unstable. Dropped out as I was worried I would be more liabilty than asset. Days later after three went out on Foraker and only one came back, I learned that terrible accident had taken place. How things in life that the time seem like a missed opportunity turn out to be different I have thought about over and over. It does remind me to make sure even the bad days are good days as I am still here.
Yes. What he went through in deep survival mode is something that we will never be able to fathom. The best word I can use for myself when I think about it is “solemn”. The need to respect what happened and the far reaching effects.
Mark, have you come across any substack page that actually delivers genuine alpinism content?
Not the pretty pics bullshit, or the “we have such epic personalities because we are hard motherfuckers” type shit ….
but just actual , simple fuckin climbing in terms of routes and rocks and beta….etc
I can't find anything.
Also, check out the Indian Himalayas…esp the 17000ers….unexplored ,remote….good climbing. Nothing like the Nepalese shit. Way less popular. Miyar valley…safe too.
I haven't actively looked for this but I do understand the feeling that more introspective and philosophical voices are lacking (in this context). There are probably several sites that offer "routes and rocks and beta" content but genuine "mirror in the cliffs" exploration seems a historical relic. I know Andy Kirkpatrick has posted some good new and older words on his Substack page but that's as much as I can recommend.
This makes me feel a shit ton better about vomiting on myself last night after a ‘steady’ 10k ergo row got ‘interesting’. As an aging ‘hasn’t ever been’ who’d run out of time to get the Sunday ride in it seemed so pathetic and trivial at the time. But while the numbers are a way off the addictive hunt for hypoxia is the same as it was. When sessions started with the door snap and chunky button clunk of a yellow Walkman around a bootleg industrial mixtape. You’ve genuinely opened up a whole new insight. To the true worth of all those shivering, feet throbbing, skull drumming, snot/sweat/blood/bile/piss/ectoplasm/shame/regret/reproach/resolve rinsing stares at the plughole.
Thanks yet again for seeing further down the spiral and communicating the value of all those little swirling vortices. Everything they’ve rinsed away and most importantly what they’ve left behind.
Your description of that Walkman button time-traveled me to a lot of different moments in the past. Thanks for that. Those yellow, “waterproof” models were also the durable ones; bigger and heavier to be sure but as the players got reduced to being slightly larger than that mix tape you referenced they also became more fragile and one had to be gentle with them. There was always a price for technological advance and sometimes it wasn’t worth it.
God, this resonates so much. I love your writing because a kid who is at school in Zimbabwe whose experience isn't about mountains or the gym or the military, still can understand what you're saying in the context of his own experience. I've just said Yes to that single decision and I'm ready to see through all of it- the mistakes, the questioning- the doubts - whether to joke or to take it seriously - it's all there in the process, there's like a million things happening in a single day where I barely do anything and that's the richness of the human experience.
There is a moment in the new Mission Impossible movie where Tom Cruise says “Remember, it's only pain. Just tell yourself it's only pain”
Great title, I haven't earned anything yet, it's just a beginning to decades of commitment to the process.
Spending yourself utterly in whatever type of effort does push you through the door that leaves behind those who cannot or will not make the effort. And when you have done so and meet someone else who has done so, you often don’t need to talk about it. It is recognized by both that what you went through separates you forever from those who have not.
Those experiences mark us in ways we don’t necessarily understand … until we come across someone similarly marked, and then, you are right, no words need be spoken, and yet deep communication will occur. Your comment reminded me of an old essay about the thousand yard stare and now I need to find it to see if I am recalling things correctly.
Or the times that were near misses. In 1992 I was invited on an Alaska trip. Wanted to go so badly but I had torn my ACL for the third time. Tried to rehab but it was too unstable. Dropped out as I was worried I would be more liabilty than asset. Days later after three went out on Foraker and only one came back, I learned that terrible accident had taken place. How things in life that the time seem like a missed opportunity turn out to be different I have thought about over and over. It does remind me to make sure even the bad days are good days as I am still here.
Colby … forever changed. And a man who has inspired and cared for a lot of us.
I did not know Colby or Ritt, just Tom. I have admired Colby for what he has accomplished after.
Yes. What he went through in deep survival mode is something that we will never be able to fathom. The best word I can use for myself when I think about it is “solemn”. The need to respect what happened and the far reaching effects.
Mark, have you come across any substack page that actually delivers genuine alpinism content?
Not the pretty pics bullshit, or the “we have such epic personalities because we are hard motherfuckers” type shit ….
but just actual , simple fuckin climbing in terms of routes and rocks and beta….etc
I can't find anything.
Also, check out the Indian Himalayas…esp the 17000ers….unexplored ,remote….good climbing. Nothing like the Nepalese shit. Way less popular. Miyar valley…safe too.
I haven't actively looked for this but I do understand the feeling that more introspective and philosophical voices are lacking (in this context). There are probably several sites that offer "routes and rocks and beta" content but genuine "mirror in the cliffs" exploration seems a historical relic. I know Andy Kirkpatrick has posted some good new and older words on his Substack page but that's as much as I can recommend.
https://alpinevagabonds.com/k6-central-80deg-2000m-overlays/
Mark, check this out. https://alpinevagabonds.com/mount-furys-mongo-ridge-a-second-ascent/
This makes me feel a shit ton better about vomiting on myself last night after a ‘steady’ 10k ergo row got ‘interesting’. As an aging ‘hasn’t ever been’ who’d run out of time to get the Sunday ride in it seemed so pathetic and trivial at the time. But while the numbers are a way off the addictive hunt for hypoxia is the same as it was. When sessions started with the door snap and chunky button clunk of a yellow Walkman around a bootleg industrial mixtape. You’ve genuinely opened up a whole new insight. To the true worth of all those shivering, feet throbbing, skull drumming, snot/sweat/blood/bile/piss/ectoplasm/shame/regret/reproach/resolve rinsing stares at the plughole.
Thanks yet again for seeing further down the spiral and communicating the value of all those little swirling vortices. Everything they’ve rinsed away and most importantly what they’ve left behind.
Your description of that Walkman button time-traveled me to a lot of different moments in the past. Thanks for that. Those yellow, “waterproof” models were also the durable ones; bigger and heavier to be sure but as the players got reduced to being slightly larger than that mix tape you referenced they also became more fragile and one had to be gentle with them. There was always a price for technological advance and sometimes it wasn’t worth it.
God, this resonates so much. I love your writing because a kid who is at school in Zimbabwe whose experience isn't about mountains or the gym or the military, still can understand what you're saying in the context of his own experience. I've just said Yes to that single decision and I'm ready to see through all of it- the mistakes, the questioning- the doubts - whether to joke or to take it seriously - it's all there in the process, there's like a million things happening in a single day where I barely do anything and that's the richness of the human experience.
There is a moment in the new Mission Impossible movie where Tom Cruise says “Remember, it's only pain. Just tell yourself it's only pain”
Great title, I haven't earned anything yet, it's just a beginning to decades of commitment to the process.